As the chaos continues following a tragic shooting, we finally heard from the people who really matter most: Noted criminologists and social scientists Ben & Jerry.
The ice cream maker tweeted Monday: “The murder of #DaunteWright is rooted in [W]hite supremacy and results from the intentional criminalization of Black and Brown communities. The system can’t be reformed. It must be dismantled and a real system of public safety rebuilt from the ground up. #Defundthepolice”.
Meanwhile, the silence from Häagen-Dazs is deafening.
So Mr. Wright, according to B&J, was killed because of bigotry, despite evidence it was a terrible, terrible error by the police officer. But from there, you conclude that the system must be destroyed. That’s leftism in a nutshell. The whole thing’s got to go, and no, we have no clue what to do next.
The combination of fatuous platitudes and catchphrases is so bad it’s giving me an ice cream headache. Now I’m patiently waiting for Baskin-Robbins to announce their 31 flavors of White privilege.
It’s got to be great to be Ben & Jerry’s. Everyone loves ice cream, so they get a pass every time they shoot their mouths off about something they know nothing about. Never mind that they’re based in Vermont, a state so White it makes Rachel Dolezal look like Malcolm X. But really, what is worse for the world, law enforcement or ice cream?
Eating lots of ice cream puts you at higher risk for diseases like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, even cancer. One of the biggest risk factors for severe cases of COVID is obesity. Maybe Ben & Jerry’s should come with a mask. At least 2.8 million people each year die from being overweight, and sorry, it’s not cops making them fat.
Ben & Jerry’s ice cream brand actually hit store shelves in the mid-to-late 1970s. Between then and now, obesity has nearly tripled. That’s also when airlines introduced the seatbelt extender for their larger passengers. A coincidence, I’m sure, but so is smoking and getting lung disease or dating Pete Davidson and getting everything.
FLASHBACK: COLIN KAEPERNICK HOPES BEN & JERRY’s NAMESAKE ICE CREAM WILL ‘AMPLIFY CALLS TO DEFUND AND ABOLISH THE POLICE’
Now, I’m not saying Ben and Jerry’s caused the fat pandemic, but public health experts call them the Menendez brothers of obesity. But just like Nike, if your business hurts people, just repeat far left talking points.
So this all begs a bottom line on lethality. Tens of millions of traffic stops are made every year, and a few dozen can involve the death of an unarmed suspect. Compare that to three million dead due to obesity. According to Statista.com, in 2019 roughly 40% of all Black adults were designated as obese. It’s not hard to see that a product that packs more fat than Chris Christie’s swim trunks isn’t doing Black Americans any favors.
Is it time to cancel Ben & Jerry’s; to defund the scoops? Or should they develop flavors that are more honest about their contribution to society? Like, say, Strawbery Coronary or Triple Bypass Fudge or Blueberry Eulogy or Banana Split Aorta? (That last one actually sounds pretty good.)
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Finally, let’s compare two vocations: making ice cream and law enforcement, to protect and serve versus to protect soft serve. In one arena you make a thing everyone loves, but it’s bad for your health, and the other is something so many elites hate, but keeps them safe from harm. Don’t you think the people with the easy job of making people fat might want to understand the professions that are slightly more risky than theirs?
If your biggest on-the-job hazards are brain freeze and muffin top, how about a little respect for people who get shot at for a living and not with Cool Whip?
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the April 16, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”